inspiration

i have confessed to him the depth of my emotions
yet he doesnt know how to respond .
i dont even know how i fell so fast .

Unsafe

It seems as if I am mistaken.
Day in and day out I keep trying to see change, yet I never see it coming on the horizon.
I still am not too sure what it is that I should do. I won't even be able to find out about my mother for a long time now. I wont know until the end of May. I struggle evryday with these feelings that I have inside of me.
I hate not being able to change anything. I hate feeling like I am isolated only to what is in the immediate perimeter around me.
It is now coming upon two years since my brother has been in jail, but still I can not come to terms with what is going on. Why can I not take him out? I wish I could even though I know that I can not.
My mother is sick. My twin brother is sick. And I feel as though these are all my burdens. I feel as if I am the one that carries them all on my shoulders. It is up to me to find a way to fix it all. But what if I can not ?
I do not know what I will do.

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erased .

so when is enough , enough ?
when are my feelings and my words not enough to make someone else feel the need to pay attention .
i dont even know what to do anymore . im stuck between a rock and a hard place .
i think i know what i SHOULD be doing , but that doesnt mean that i want to .
i feel like a dog with my tail in between my legs . i can only take being abused emotionally by someone for so long . especially when i keep pouring my heart and soul out to them .
im trying not to cry ; because i know i am above these tears.
but i have a feeling they are going to fall anyways.

older women

kids say some crazy ish .

sunshine

could it be
could this feeling be love ?
could these touches , these kisses , these unspoken whispers
could it be
could it be joy
this happiness , these smiles , these tears
he gives to me .

untitled

theres nothing i can say
i am at a loss for words
they escape me ;
no longer staying with me like dreams through the night
they have better things to do
but all i want to do is remember

at the moment

these eyes of mine are gazed over
my heart once so warm is now cold ;
no longer beating its familiar rhythym
my thoughts are not making sense
my words ; abstract with no purpose
i am traumatized
is this all that is left of me?
i never even had a choice

pssst .

i am quite excited seeing as how i have finally found a job ! bath and body works employee =) .
i am currently falling in love ; judge me all you want but i cant help how i feel .
i found out my blood type . B POSITIVE . not too sure yet whether this or a good or a bad thing ; but we shall find out soon enough .
i plan on buying a car pretty soon .
and at the moment i am reading the book thief . you should pick it up . this book is awesome !
it serves no particular purpose , but it did happen to catch my eye when i was at the library at my school .
i am also on a poem publishing prowl . my dear mother bought me three books that should help me on my quest . i love this woman .
WISH ME LUCK !

october 3

born only two minutes apart
she weighed slightly more than he
yet still one in the same
he is her twin ; he is her better half
the ying to her yang
he is the fire on her neck
he is who she sees looking back at her in the mirror

brush of lips

this woman ; her face is tear stricken .
layers upon layers of salty river beds
my skin shows a reflection of the same
those sturdy four walls are no longer her sanctuary
she finds comfort in the numbers that it takes to reach me .
solace is the only companion she has in the shadows of her mind
i return my ever growing gratitude to her
my falls and cement-scraped knees never went without her remedy of a kiss
so who am i to deny this woman the same ?
her scars are ones that i heal with lips of my own kiss .