meeeee

my life as it stands

I have been writing , a lot lately actually. Which is a real surprise because I had a bit of a block at one point. I have been writing poems, raps, thoughts anything that comes to mind. Pretty soon I should have my car, so my life seems to be going on track. At times, I have to wonder though. Will things always be this good, will they get worse? Or because things are so good will i subconsciously try to sabotage it? These are things I reflect on, and I would really like to figure out. I am trying to grow and become who I want to be in the future.

who i am today

1.i am too scared to watch the movie 2012
2. i refuse to write with anything less than a fine point pen
3. i get something pierced just to take it out (eyebrow 2x, lipring 3x, belly buitton, nose ring 2x, innear ear 2x)
4. i like to toast my waffles before microwaving them
5. i eat my m&ms and reese's pieces in even numbers, the last odd one gets thrown away
6. i love to wear weave ; its the highlight of my day
7. i have learned to like tomatoes , as long as they are fried
8. i really dont like beef, i prefer chicken
9. i have another twin by the name of stephanie andrade
10. i recently learned how to drive stick , and refuse to go back to automatic
11. shaquiesha is the name of my alter ego
12. i am hopelessly devoted to a man named adler evens lamarre
13. i am terrified of death ; but then again who isnt
14. i am a survivor of domestic violence
15. i am a would be mother
16. i cried like a baby when michael jackson died
17. i am twenty year old with defective braces !
18. the bar code on my wrist DOES NOT scan , trust me ive tried .
19. i hate giving speeche , but i LOVE to talk
20. i go on youtube just to watch the twerk team
21. i like to have brandy with dinner
22. i do not have a father ; i am from a sperm bank in illinois called little angels
23. i used to have a best friend , but they became over rated
24. i wake up to facebook, myspace, and twitter (in that order) before i even out on my glasses
25. my favorite color has FINALLY been clarified : PURPLE
26. i am too scared to write my older brother a letter , im still in denial

27. i dont watch tv, i watch dvds on my laptop
28. my glasses are stupid fresh, got them transition lenses
29. im your mothers role model
30. i coin phrases (aint doing shit niggas)
31. i love my mother more than she will ever know, but i sill refer to her as an ATM (ALL TRESSA'S MONEY)

#FREELARRY

I finally sat down to write my older brother a letter. He wrote me back in like Jan/Feb and I am just now wrting him back. Does that make me a bad sister? I wrote to him to tell him that I have been too busy, but am I really? I could have taken fifteen minutes out of my day to write my brother. Or maybe its because I just can not deal with the fact that he is not here. It has been almost three years coming; what do you do when you're best friend is no longer there? Not able to call me and tell me stupid little things. Its hard but I know in the end that I will be okay.

sunday morning

I am the best , I see no point in striving for it. Who are we then, if we can not proclaim who we are with confidence? Many can say that they are trying, whereas I prefer to say that I AM. You can only make yourself be who you are and who you want to be, not what they say that you should be. So claim your independence, claim your rapper status, but do so with confidence. If not then be judged by those who will bring you down, and let them tell you who you are.