For Her

Tiny kicks and punches encased in skin
The softest giggle gently parts my lips
An inspiration beyond even a hero .
       She fights a battle that ive already won for her.
Grasping at life through this shared umbilical cord ; she is destined for greatness.
     I can already imagine her tiny fingers grabbing just my one.
Swimming in a sea of me, a sea of her. A sea of US.
    She might not know it yet. But I love her.

Books and Friends

Also, two of my friends and I have decided to write a book full of poems. But as of late, I have not been happy with my work. Considering everything that I have been through in my life up to this point, you would think that I would have a lot to say. And I do, but the words are not coming together and forming the way that I would like them to.

I could talk about my struggles of being a single parent. Or I could talk about struggles that I just have in general. Or how about the joys of being pregnant? I love feeling little Cydni. It feels like a fish in a bowl of water!

I have written about seven poems so far, and I do not like ANYTHING that I wrote. I could use some of my older poems that I absolutely LOVE, but I feel like this book should be comprised of recent writings. Considering that we said we would have twenty poems by the end of the month, I only have eleven more days to complete this task. I hope that something hits my brain soon. We will see what happens!

Mom - January 5, 2011

One of the many new titles that can be added to my name. Daughter. Sister. Niece. Now I am a soon to be mother. I wonder sometimes if I will be able to handle the responsibility that comes with being a parent. I have a slight anger issue, but I honestly don't believe that will ever be an issue when it comes to my daughter.

I plan on naming her Cydni Amari. Everyone tries to make these off-handed comments saying that they are glad the the name isn't "a ghetto name". Why is that even a statement that is being made. So because I am black, my child is destined to have a ghetto name? I name her what I felt in my heart to name her. I didn't choose the name because I wanted it to be "WHITE". The name spoke to me. Can I live?

I am so excited to have her. Her due date is January 5, 2011. I have a feeling that she might end up coming before that. My mother is more excited about her due date than I am because everyone else in my immediate family happens to be Capricorns. Only my twin brother and I are Libras.

At the end of the day, I hope that I can provide enough inspiration and guidance necessary for my daughter to succeed. Growing up, I never talked about how I wanted to be married, or have kids. I had set goals in life. Things that I wanted to accomplish and achieve. I will still achieve all of the things that I set out to do, but my main priority now will be my daughter. I love her more than life itself already, and I haven't even met her yet. All I can do now is poke me stomach and giggle with glee when she kicks me back. :)