what is this ?

if this is not love then what is this?
i catch myself inadvertently counting the days until his birthday
what a wondeful celebration
i can vividly remember the smell that he left behind on my pillow that morning
and the smell contined to remain there even after i had washed them
his skin radiates an almost heavenly glow
beautiful. golden yellow. fresh rays of light from the sun.
certains songs bring him to my memory. and if i close my eyes hard enough, its almost as if he is laying down right beside me.
just the mere thought of his skin near mine makes me burn from the top of my head all the way down to my toes.
i get ridiculously nervous whenever hes around
my heart begins to race and i cant think straight
if someone measure my heart rate they would notice when hes there it skips a beat
ive felt love before and i font feel that now
but it feels like my day starts and ends with him
its almost forbidden to say his name
almost the adam to my eve
but i know that he does not feel the same as i
so i guess im doing this alone
what
is
this ?